Remembering Mom: Lola Hunter

November 2023 was supposed to be a fun family month. Daughter came down for two weeks to encompass celebrating her mother's birthday and to celebrate the holiday and son and daughter in law were to join all of us in the holiday celebration as well. Well those things did happen but for me it was not the joyful moment I envisioned. 

My mom died November 13, 2023.

It's really hard when both parents are gone. When your beautiful mom leaves this journey, it is hard anyway. Making it a double-whammy when there's no parent left to connect to your past. I moved along rudderless for days afterwards. I enjoyed moments the best I could. 

What made it harder for me was that my mom and I did not connect on the same level as my dad and I. I think that is true with any child, there are different connections with either parent. For mom and me, it was a lot of support. She might not have always understood everything I was doing, or what I was researching, but she always supported me. She was the only one in my family of five who did not graduate from college, but she was so smart about things that we encounter in life. That silent, personal touch can go by unnoticed in life until it's no longer there. Then there's the discovery of a void from it not being there.

Before I present the text of my remarks at mom's burial service, there are two things that I remember and connect to with so much emotional attachment.

Mom told me while she was shopping for shoes for me that she wanted to buy shoes for each of us. Her childhood was really really hard. Born in the heart of the Great Depression and Dust Storms, mom learned to save and not spend. She said that shoes were in her family a scarcity. She wore shoes that were worn out, did not fit her feet, just to have something to wear to school. I was in middle school when I heard this, but I was still aware enough to feel how hard that statement was to make for her. It made me feel very grateful for what I had.

Mom was a creative person. She could draw, she could paint.  She could make a pattern out of drawing and bring it to fruition into a painting. A creative person feels a lot more and what is affecting them.  Creativity was an outlet from that. I am grateful for Mom showing me without even knowing it that creativity is a release point along this journey in life.

One of my favorite pictures of mom and me. Picture was from 1985 - I still in my permed hair and still skinny.

 I read the following remarks at mom's burial service. 

Our mother died on Monday morning.

November 13, 2023.

Which would have been our Dad's 90th birthday. Birth and Death. For us, we will remember a birth and death on the same day. 

Our parents in November 1965 had their birthdays connected to death. In 1965, Dad's dad, or our grandfather Hunter, died on my mom's birthday; and five days later, my Mom's dad, or our grandfather Taylor, died on my Dad's birthday.

November birthdays for our parents were never the same again.

My mom and dad lived together in a long, loving marriage -- their lives intertwined with faith, hope, and love. That faith, hope, and love helped my mom transition effortlessly to be a preacher's wife. She connected with church members with her smile that greeted you before the words hello. She connected by being the same person she always was.

Intertwined faith, hope, and love.

Even though each one of her children left home for college and on our life journeys, she always supported us -- made sure we received our birthday cards each year -- and loved us no matter where we were. 

Our mom loved to be creative--painting, coloring, and she loved to draw and sketch. 

We are here today to celebrate her life -- a life filled with love, joy, and happiness -- and that she loved us so much, had so much hope for us, and always had faith in us.

Love you Mom